I Love Atheists

           

(Please be advised. This blog discusses the very disturbing issue of rape. If you are not comfortable with this topic, please feel free to be inspired by one of my other blogs. For more information regarding rape, please visit the website at the end of this blog. Thanks.)

After graduating from high school, I went to Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC for my undergraduate degree. While there, I became a member of one of the largest organizations on campus, the Dinkins Student Union Programming Board. Here is where I met some of the best people I have encountered in my entire life. More specifically, two young ladies that I am friends with today. One identified herself as Gnostic, the other an atheist.

One Spring Break I decided to stay in Rock Hill because I had a full-time job and needed to work. I was very bored because everyone I knew had went home during break. So, I decided to meet a guy I had been chatting with online for about a year. I went to his apartment and had a decent time. He wasn’t someone I was attracted to, but someone cool to hang out with. He invited me to come back the next evening so he could cook dinner for me. I went back the next night and ate dinner with a glass of Arbor Mist. After we finished, we sat on the couch to watch television. I noticed that he was getting closer to me, and when he went to touch my leg, I politely told him I did not want to do that. However, he persisted, and I soon realized I could not control my body. He took me into his bedroom, and took advantage of me.

Once I was able to leave, I began to have feelings of guilt. My friends and I normally would NEVER go to a guy’s house for the first time alone. However, I let my boredom get the best of me, and I suffered a horrible consequence. I was very shaken, but very angry with myself. The next day, the guy called me at work. I told him not to call me ever again. He asked me why. I said, “because you took advantage of me!” He said, “I thought it was two people making love.” I hung up and never saw or spoke to him again.

When my friends returned to school a couple of days later, I shared with some of them what had happened. They kind of brushed it off, and I assume they didn’t take it seriously. Looking back, I believe that because I had been somewhat promiscuous, (which stemmed from being raped 3 weeks before going to college), they didn’t believe it. However, it took a toll on me and I became extremely depressed.

One evening, a few days after the incident, I told one of my friends from DSU what happened to me. She immediately told me that I had been raped, and said that she and our other friend were coming to pick me up to take me to the hospital. Because a few days had passed, the doctors were unable to do a rape kit because I had taken several showers by then. They also said they believed he slipped me the date rape drug, which is why I was unable to control my body. Still, I said no. And no means no.

I was so angry with myself that I never labeled what happened as rape. I knew that I had voluntarily went to his house, twice. I actually felt like I deserved what happened because I made a very bad decision. As time passed, I became less and less functional and realized I had to get counseling. I went to the counseling office on campus and began to receive help. I not only healed from that rape, but from the previous one as well.

They say you should never judge a book by its cover. I am forever grateful for my two friends that took me to the hospital that day. My Christian friends did not see my worth, and I can’t blame them- I didn’t see my own worth at the time. Yet, my Gnostic and atheist friends knew that this attack was unacceptable, and stepped in to see me whole. They are two people I can call on right now, and will still do whatever they can for me.

I learned a great lesson in love from these ladies, which also increased my faith in God. In the book of Matthew, an expert of the law asked Jesus to tell them which of the commandments is greater. Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” (Matt, 22:35-39, NIV). Jesus did not say love your Christian neighbor, your Methodist neighbor, or your neighbor that’s like a cousin, as you love yourself. He said love your neighbor.

I love my friends so much. Every time I think of them, my heart is filled with love for them. Of course I would love for them to know God as I do, but my purpose is not to badger them across the head with the Bible until I convince them to believe. My purpose is to let my light so shine before men so they see my good works and glorify my God in heaven. (Matt. 5:16). I do my best not to judge anyone’s decision about what they believe. As passionately as I believe in Christ, someone else is just as passionate about their god/gods. I choose to walk in love, as Christ did, and believe that someone will want to know more about the God I serve.

My lesson in faith came from understanding that God uses anyone He chooses to do His work. The act of caring that was shown through these beautiful women gave me a new understanding of serving the Lord. They gave me faith to know that God could use me, too. At judgment day, we do not have to answer for the choices everyone else makes for their lives’. We do, however, have to answer for how we conduct ourselves as people who claim to be followers of Christ. Focus your energy on how you can become a better representation of Who you believe in. You may be surprised with how God uses you to bring someone into the flock. Not all Christians agree with how I serve God, but I function in how God has presented Himself in my life.

I am certain that as long as I have breath, I will change, my beliefs will change, and I will grow even the more. But until then, I will give God my best, love my neighbor, and let my light shine.

If you have ever been a victim of rape and have never sought help, please do. This type of violation is extremely difficult to go through alone. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at: 1-800-656-HOPE, or visit their website at: https://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline.

Peace and blessings to you all.

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at: faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.