I love church. I love going to
church. I don’t currently have a church home, but I love fellowshipping with
other believers. I haven’t been anywhere else that could duplicate how the
power of the Holy Spirit moves across the masses. We all would lift our hands, tears rolling down our faces, praying for the thing that would make our lives' just a little bit easier.
However, when I would leave church, after all the hype died down, I was back to reality. I was left trying to
figure out how the message applied to my life. Truth be known, there were times that before
Monday would come I was back to worrying and complaining about WHATEVER.
And being even more honest, there were times I didn’t even think about what I
learned in church after I left. It was just a part of the Sunday ritual. But
please believe I wanted to have faith that I was going to receive all of the
blessings of God.
One of the most unsettling stories
in the Bible for me is the story of Ananias and Sapphira in the book of Acts
5:1-11 (NRSV). During this time, many of the followers of Christ were selling
their possessions in order to give the money to the apostles for charitable use.
This husband and wife duo decided to sell their land to give to the growing
church. When Ananias went before the apostles’ feet, he gave only a portion of
the money they received, and kept a portion for him and his wife; he presented
it as if he had given their all. Peter then asked, “why has Satan filled your
heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back part of the proceeds of the
land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain you own? And after it was
sold, were not the proceeds at your disposal? How is it that you have contrived
this deed in your heart? You did not lie to us but to God!” Ananias immediately
fell dead. Peter then went to Sapphira and asked her if the amount her husband
gave was the amount that they received for selling the land. She said, “yes, that was the price.”
She also fell dead.
Ananias and Sapphira did not die
because they kept a portion of the money for themselves. They died because they
lied to God about the amount they had received. It is very important that we consider the lessons we learn from the Word. But what is even more important is that we don’t lie to God so that we don't impede the joy of living in the bounty of God's bosom.
I can
reluctantly recall a time in my life when I was engaged in a relationship with
a man who was married. I actually preferred this relationship at the time because I did not
have to be accountable to him. I enjoyed being with him, and then
he could go merrily on his way. After a year and a half, we had somehow fallen in love. I realized that I began to miss him and long for him. I hated the nights I would
have to spend alone.
As sin would have it, he left his wife. I was immediately
convicted. I never had any intentions of breaking up his family. I told him
from the beginning that I did not ever want him to leave for me. If he left, it
would be for himself. I was consumed with guilt and shame. So, I left him
alone. He eventually went back home, as I suspected he would. I repented because my heart was very heavy, and
I never opened the door to that relationship again. I was just plain wrong.
God truly never leaves us nor forsakes us. Truly. I have come
to understand that in order to keep that hype I feel amongst the masses, is to
carry that Word I received on Sunday into EVERY DECISION THAT I MAKE. So often
we want to see the promises of God, but we do not conduct ourselves in any kind
of manner that will allow Him to dwell in our hearts. You simply cannot sleep with someone
else’s man and then ask God to bless it.
Again, this is not about being perfect, because in our
mistakes is where perfection comes. But, I believe that if we want to see those
faith requests manifest, we have to start considering our own actions. As
believers, we are equipped. We have the Word of God. We have a gazillion
gospels songs to be encouraged. Some of us even have a praying parent or
grandparent who is always telling us what we are doing wrong, but we are too
head-strong to believe it.
God loves us and wants to answer our prayers, but we plant seeds of hate, gossip, and envy, while expecting our cup to
overflow. It is time to put on our big boy/big girl britches and start
checking ourselves. I am so sick of people planting tomato seeds and expecting
corn to grow. I still make mistakes, absolutely. But I am grateful to have the
wisdom in knowing that I can’t expect anything great to come out of total mess.
Once we put our eyes on Him, and consider what He would want us to do, it is
AMAZING how He will multiply even our smallest efforts.
Here is an opportunity for each of us to consider what is
going on in our lives’. We should also consider how badly we want the blessings
from the Lord. God is always there waiting on us to repent and pick up a new
way of living. And that new way of living comes with continuous mistakes and “Lord
forgive me” moments. But that new path is waiting on each of us so that we not
only receive the blessings from God, but we can be used for His glory! It doesn’t
get much better than that.
Just take one step at a time. This is not a race. It is a
journey. Evaluate your life and think about the things you know are hindering
your walk with God. Begin to change them. It sooooo is not easy. Lord knows it
took some years to break some things off of me, and I am anticipating it may
take some time to break off some of this other craziness I still carry. But
because God knows your heart, He sees your effort to change, and you most
certainly will begin to see His blessings.
Peace.
If you have and comments, questions, suggestions or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.
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