Falling in Love with Love

Falling in Love with Love

 

I remember a time I was living with a friend, and I was sleeping on an air mattress on her living room floor. I so badly wanted to have my own place, but I had just been evicted from my previous one. I wish I could tell you, “At that moment, I picked up the Word of God, the Bible fell open and sitting right there was a scripture I needed to have faith, and I felt better”. Nope. Didn’t happen. (Don’t get me wrong, there were moments when that did happened, but that wasn’t how I found faith.)

At some point, I began to realize that the problems I had at that moment were not the ones I had last the previous year, so clearly the grace of God brought me through. But I still hadn’t considered that my poor decision making was what rendered me essentially homeless. 

You could look in the dictionary for the word, “self-sabotage”, and you would see my selfie. I was brilliant about taking matters into my own hands, supposedly fixing things, and ending up with a mess that was greater than what I started with! Then, I would whine and complain to God about the chaos, and even have the audacity to ask Him, “Where are You???”

            I reached a pinnacle point of failure in my life, and knew I could no longer go forward making decisions for myself. I wasn’t one of those people who could go 10 miles over the speed limit and not get pulled over for it. Every little thing I did, because “everyone else was doing it”, landed me in some kind of financial bind.

            I was a Christian. I knew that much. But I did not understand what it meant to follow Christ without feeling like I had to be “perfect”. I began to search for a church home, which allowed me to hear the Word of God. But I had tremendous difficulty incorporating those things when I got home. So, I picked up the Bible. What better way to learn how to become Christ-like than studying the Word? Maybe I would finally get some direction.

            Studying the Gospels, or the first four books of the New Testament, led the way. Reading Matthew, Mark, Luke and John gave me a clearer perceptive of who Jesus is- LOVE. I understood that Christ loves me just as I am. Once I gained this understanding, I was able to approach the rest of the Bible knowing what God’s ultimate goal was for me- to operate in love. This made everything make sense! When I love, I won’t steal, kill, commit adultery, or any other offenses described in the Word. I wouldn’t spend time judging the behaviors of others; instead, I would love them. In fact, I learned how to first love myself so that I could appropriately love the people around me.

 What an epiphany!

            (Sidebar: Please understand, sin still exists, which is the ultimate reason for Christ. Even in our best moments, we commit sin. Therefore, we repent and go forward, white as snow, doing our best).

            Falling in love with Christ, then falling in love with Sheronda, began to teach me to how to have faith. Instead of having faith in what I wanted to happen in my life, I began to have faith in God’s love. Having faith meant God loves me so much, there is no reason I can't trust Him with my life. I then understood concepts like, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you"; and, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He wants me to be happy. He wants me to have peace.

 I became conscious of the decisions I was making, and began to make the ones that would take me in a positive direction. I began to have faith that God was surrounding me, because I was seeking Him first in all things. Gaining love taught me not to settle for less from anyone, including myself. It was then I began to see my life turn around, and miracles and wonders began to unfold. (Many of these I will share in the coming days on this blog).

Until you do the work, this “finding love in the Bible in order to have faith” thing will sound a little out there. But once you begin to understand how much God loves you, you’ll know He wants the best for you, and you will be able to put all of your trust in Him.

I want to leave you with the Bible’s beautiful description of love from First Corinthians 13:4-8:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Peace.