I’m Not Angry Anymore

Along with the other self-improvement quests I am tending to in my life, I am on a quest to achieve a higher level of consciousness, or what some may call “moving from one level of glory to the next". I am determined to walk in peace and love with my fellow brethren and with myself. This has been my journey for many years, but the most recent event of my life has left me very angry. Well happily I can say to you today, I am not angry anymore.

As many know, my son was taken from our previous daycare to the hospital via ambulance and was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury from blunt force trauma about six months ago. While I am not allowed to accuse anyone of this horrific event because we are still in the legal process, I was told that it was definitely caused by some form of abuse. Strangely enough, I haven’t been angry with the daycare provider, who was the only adult present at the time. Entertaining that type of anger would not end in good results. At all. Instead, I prayed for her, forgave her alleged actions, and handed her over to God. I actually tended to be more angry with people who insisted I should be angry with her, but that is gone too.

Truth be known, I have most recently been angry with the governing body over the daycares in this State. I have read through many documents and have received a large amount of information that has led me to believe that the State did not protect my child. In order for me to go to work every day and provide for my family, I had to trust that the state was doing their job, and they didn't. And that has left me angry. And not only was my child not protected, but since this happened my family has suffered significant financial loss. This left me even more angry.

            I began to feel a block in my pursuit for higher consciousness so I reached out to a professor I had many years ago. He said it could be possible that I was carrying some emotion associated with the abuse. I did not initially think so because I had prayed for the daycare provider and forgave her. (I have dealt with tremendous pain that taught me how to forgive, so I'm quite familiar with the forgiveness process.) Yet, I had not considered that my anger towards the state agency was unforgiveness. The anger wasn’t even towards a specific person! But as I took this into consideration, I considered the feeling I had when I thought of them. I was furious! So obviously, there was some form of unforgiveness inside of me.

            I have now been transformed by the renewing of my mind. I have submitted my feelings and thoughts to the Lord, and forgave the agency. I have said over and over again how thankful I am for my son’s healing, but [enter gripe or complaint here]. Now I am standing full of thanks. Period. Not buts, no anger, no contemplation of what seems unfair. I am grateful for his healing, his testimony, his smile, his laughter...... I could go on and on. Each day is met with giving thanks for something, anything, because there is so much to be thankful for. Allowing my spirit to enter into any other place than thanksgiving sends me into places of despair, frustration, hopelessness, and fear- none that represent the God I serve.

            I have heard on several occasions that operating in place of thanksgiving causes you to receive more things to be thankful for. I truly hope and believe this to be true. But most of all, I am thankful that this new space and place of having a heart of thanksgiving gives me joy. I am so very happy. Each new lesson is giving me a new level of happiness. I am experiencing even more unspeakable joy!

            My encouragement to you is to express gratitude at all times. Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have, give thanks for what you do have. Your lack will seem so small. As severe of an injury my son suffered, I am aware that there are mothers who will never again hold their child on this side of heaven. So I am grateful. Yes, life has changed. Yes, it all seemed unfair. But at this point, I cannot undo any of what has happened. Now is the time to pull up my boot straps and count my blessings. I look forward to, and am grateful for, what is next.

Peace.

            

Pressing Past the Pain

            I am too nice. I really am. I’m kind even when no part of me really wants to be. People say the most ridiculous and hurtful things at times, yet I try to operate in love. The reason I know that I am too nice is because people think I have to have some ulterior motive behind the kind things I say and do. It’s kind of annoying. I have not always been this way. At one point, not too long ago, I had no problem ripping you a brand new one and sending you merrily on your way. But it didn’t bring any kind of satisfaction, and most importantly, it did not represent love. So I decided to check myself. I press past the pain and hurt I feel and choose kindness, and have received much favor and many blessings because of it, and my faith has grown to epic proportions.

            Since I started this blog, I have been on the quest to lose weight. For me, this is a painful process, and it's not necessarily physical pain. Some days I just simply do not feel like pressing past my laziness. It literally feels like I am forcing myself to do something I simply do not feel like doing. I think it’s mostly because I don’t receive immediate results. But how will I ever see results if I don’t press through?

Some of our most painful experiences, if not all, have the potential to teach us lessons, cause growth, and gain wisdom.  First Peter 1:6-8 tells us, “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,…” (NASB version). Like gold being perfected by fire, our pain, hurt, disease, and discouraging moments are there to perfect us and increase our faith. 

But who wants to feel the pain?

Job is a magnificent example to encourage us through our pain. Job was considered a blameless man. He would even offer a sacrifice to the Lord when his children sinned. The devil asked God if he would take his hand off of Job to prove that Job would not be as faithful if God was not covering him. God allowed it. Job lost everything -his health, his children, and his wealth. Job’s wife even told him to curse God and die. “Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God” (1:22 NASB). In the end, God doubled everything Job lost through his trials.

I am convinced that there is something amazing on the other side of whatever afflicts us. If we press through the hard work of exercise, we see the final result of weight loss and better health. If we press through the difficult financial situation, we receive provisions that will take care of all of our needs. If we press through a bad diagnosis, we will receive healing. It’s the pressing through with the help of the Lord that makes a difference.

During the time my son was hospitalized for the traumatic brain injury, I had unwavering faith. It actually wasn’t intentional unwavering faith. I just didn’t believe there would be any other result other than full restoration. I was told that he would never be the same child, that he may have to live with a tracheostomy, that he may never have vision, and that he may never walk or talk again. But my little fighter is functioning as a normal toddler and is even potty training! My intention is to apply this type of faith to every part of my life. Just as a seed presses through the soil to bear it's fruit, I know that unwavering faith and perseverance will end with amazing results.

My encouragement to you is to consider whatever may be frustrating you and recognize the growth that may come. There are so many outside influences that affect each and every one of our lives’. But you want victory!!!! In order to reach the end successfully, keep your head up and press through. I wish I could make everyone’s life easy. I hate seeing the pain and frustration of anyone around me. If you spoke to those closest to me, they would tell you that I always try to encourage them all the way through their trials. The pain is real and I don’t want to ever take that away from anyone. But press past the pain, focus on what you want the ultimate outcome to be, and expect positive results!

Peace.

The Many Names of God

            I believe it is important that we learn and understand the many Names of God given throughout the Bible. It allows us to call on his specific name during times of need. God knows who He is. He even knows what we are going to pray for before we pray. But my personal belief is that when we call on a specific name of God, it has the ability to activate our faith. We can then dwell in that name and stand in great expectation for God to meet that need. I want to share with you the names, the pronunciation, where it is located in the Bible, and the meaning of seven of the many names of God. For the sake of consistency, I will be using the Amplified version of the Bible.

      1.     El Shaddai (el shad-di')- All-Sufficient One, Lord God Almighty.

   Ø    Genesis 17:1- When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, I am the Almighty God; walk and live habitually before Me and be perfect (blameless, wholehearted, complete).

This is during the time God changes Abram’s name to Abraham and makes a covenant with Abraham saying he will be the father of many nations. He’s assuring Abraham that He has the power to do everything He said He will do, although Abraham found it hilarious that he would be having a child in his old age. Praying this name says that you believe that God has the power to do all things.

2.     El Elyon (el el-yone’)- The Most High God

Ø  Genesis 14:18- Melchizedek king of Salem [later called Jerusalem] brought out bread and wine [for their nourishment]; he was the priest of God Most High,

El Elyon occurs in the Old Testament 28 times. It refers to God in His extreme sovereignty and majesty, and proclaims that He is the Most Exalted God. Praying this name gives reverence to God, and says that you believe there is no other God before Him.

     3.     Jehovan Nissi (yeh-ho-vaw' nis-see')- The Lord My Banner, The Lord My Miracle

  Ø  Exodus 17:15- And Moses built an altar and called the name of it, The Lord is my Banner;

      In battle, opposing nations would fly their own flag on a pole at each of their respective front lines. This was to give their soldier a feeling of hope and a focal point. This is what God is to us: a banner of encouragement to give hope and a focal point.

     4. Jehovah-Raah (yeh-ho-vaw’ raw-aw’) The Lord My Shepherd

Ø  Psalm 23:1- The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.

A shepherd is someone who leads his flock to pasture and keeps them safe. During the times when you need some direction, you can call on the name of Jehovah-Raah to be your shepherd.

    5.     Jehovah Rapha (yeh-ho-vaw’ raw-faw’)- The Lord That Heals

 Ø  Exodus 15:26- Saying, If you will diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord your God and will do what is right in His sight, and will listen to and obey His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases upon you which I brought upon the Egyptians, for I am the Lord Who heals you.

I have prayed this Name on many occasions, and have had the tremendous blessing of  seeing God manifest as our healer. During times of physical or emotional sickness, pray the name of the Great Physician to heal you and your loved ones.

 

    6.     Jehovah Jireh (yeh-ho-vaw’ yir-eh’)- The Lord Will Provide

     Ø  Genesis 22:14- So Abraham called the name of that place The Lord Will Provide. And it is said to this day, On the mount of the Lord it will be provided.

     God told Abraham that he wanted him to take his son to one of the mountains in the region of Moriah, and sacrifice him as a burnt offering. This is the son he and his wife Sarah had at a very old age, and they loved him dearly. However, Abraham was obedient and took his son to the top of the mountain to sacrifice him. Just as he was about to kill his son, an angel appeared and stopped him. God placed a ram there for Abraham to offer as a sacrifice instead of his son. It was a test of Abraham's faith in God. We can call on the Name of Jehovah Jireh to provide for us when we have no idea where the means will come from.

7. Jehovah Shalom (yeh-ho-vaw’ shaw-lome’)- The Lord is Peace

  Ø  Judges 6:24- Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord and called it, The Lord is Peace. To this day it still stands in Ophrah, which belongs to the Abiezrites.

During the most tumultuous times of our lives’, we have Jehovah Shalom to call on to bring peace.

There are many more Names of God given throughout the Bible, but I shared the ones that I have used the most during my prayers. I encourage you to explore the many names of God so that your faith walk can be strengthened. Knowing the specific name will keep your mind focused on the blessing that is to come.

Source: https://www.blueletterbible.org/study/misc/name_god.cfm

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at: faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.