I Cannot Enjoy Being Unhealthy

In 2006 I was diagnosed with asthma. How is one diagnosed with asthma as an adult, you ask? I began to smoke cigarettes after dating someone who smoked. I smoked Newports for about 4 years and began to have difficulty breathing. Doctors kept saying I had bronchitis, but because it would not go away, they labeled it as asthma and gave me maintenance medications. (You can never truly appreciate the gift of breathing until you can’t).

Because I was taking so many steroids to treat the bronchitis, I gained a tremendous amount of weight- fifty pounds to be exact. In May of 2009, not long after I gained this weight, I became very ill. I found myself sleeping all of the time, having unquenchable thirst, and urinating frequently. I finally decided to go to the doctor, and was immediately diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.

I was extremely distraught about this diagnosis. I had been working in dialysis since 2001, and I knew the toll diabetes can take on the body. I immediately begin to pray for healing. I knew that I could be healed of this disease. I just had to do my part.

Taking care of our temples is another important part of our walk with God. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” I love sweets. There I said it. And I love carbs. Give me a big plate of almost any Italian dish, macaroni and cheese, dressing, or potatoes in any form, followed by a sweet, decadent dessert, and you have made Sheronda a very happy woman. However, my body is not happy.

WebMD reports, “the bodies of people with type 2 diabetes make insulin. But either their pancreas does not make enough insulin or the body cannot use the insulin well enough.” It goes on to say that, “over time, the high glucose levels in the blood can damage the nerves and small blood vessels of the eyes, kidneys, and heart and lead to atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries that can cause heart attack and stroke.” For myself, this was unacceptable. I knew I had many goals that I wanted to reach, and I did not want to spend time in and out of doctors' offices trying to stay well.

Thankfully, the doctor I saw is a believer, and he told me that I did not have to live the rest of my life with diabetes. He told me that God was a healer, and that if I did my part, God would do the rest. I immediately sprung into action. I began to exercise on a regular basis and I changed my diet, and lost 30 pounds. In January of 2010, I participated in the Daniel fast with a group of women I fellowship with, and by February 2010, I was no longer diabetic! I was healed!

I enjoyed smoking. I enjoyed eating sweets. But neither enjoyed me. I began to realize that in order to do the work God wanted from me, I had to be a healthy person. I watched as people smoked for 20 years and ate whatever they wanted, but did not suffer the same repercussions I did  (or at least I didn’t think so). But truthfully, I felt awful. I had no motivation to do anything.

Seeking God’s face and wanting to learn to have faith taught me numerous lessons. One lesson was that if I wanted to represent God in the capacity I desired, I could not be unhealthy. And in order to reach my goals, I not only had to learn how to be healthy, but to have faith that God would deliver me from these diseases.

I know there are thousands of people who have been diagnosed with some illness that they desire to be delivered from. Some of these diseases have even been labeled as “incurable”. I believe otherwise. We see the testimony of so many people who have been healed of a terminal illness, yet we don’t have the faith that it could happen to us. IT CAN HAPPEN. Sometimes it requires us to develop a healthier lifestyle while standing on scriptures that say, “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5, NIV). Other times we just have to stand. However, we must activate our faith to get through.

If you had an opportunity to read my blog, “Write the Vision, Make it Plain”, you would have seen my vision board. On this vision board is a woman exercising, and she represents my desire to become fit again. During the time my son was hospitalized, I gained weight. I was eating whatever was near the hospital, and rarely had a home-cooked meal. My desire is to regain a healthy lifestyle so that I can lose the weight I gained, and more, so that I can have the energy and motivation to enter this next phase of my life.

I go to God with this desire, because I cannot do it on my own. My truth- I am struggling with developing a healthier lifestyle. My son’s injury has required a lot of my attention, and I have forgotten to take care of me. However, each day I make a valiant effort to incorporate something healthier to reach this goal. I encourage any of my readers to do the same, through the power of faith in God. If this is a desire in your heart, God has placed it there. And if God placed it there, He has also given you the power to receive it. I will receive it. You will receive it. We will receive.

           

            There is healing, in the name of our Lord. Try it. You will see. Or at least, you will see me.

Btw, as of March 2014, I have been healed of asthma. Have faith.

For further encouragement, please read the blog of a long time acquaintance of mine, Monica Day. Please know that you are not in the struggle alone. God bless!
http://monicadoes.com/fitness/weight-struggle/

Sources:

http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/guide/type-2-diabetes#

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at: faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.

Allow Yourself to be Used

(This post will discuss the incident that happened to my, then, 16-month- old son. There will be some things I will not discuss because there is ongoing litigation regarding this case. However, I do believe that the miracles we witnessed have tremendous potential to inspire faith.)

On May 16, 2014, I received a phone call from our previous daycare provider that I needed to meet the paramedics at the Children’s Hospital. She said they believed my son, Myles, was having a seizure. Myles had never had a seizure before, so my mind tried to figure out why he would be having one. I was closer to the hospital than the paramedics, so I arrived first.

Once they arrived with my baby, I was able to go in the back. Myles was still having seizures. I watched as they continuously gave him medications to stop the seizures. After what seemed to be forever, the seizures finally stopped, and they were able to take him to have a CT scan of his brain.

When they returned, they informed his father and I that they believed Myles had been shaken, but would know more with further testing. They said that he would need to immediately go into surgery to remove a blood clot from his brain that was causing pressure, which was causing the seizures. I bawled and I bawled. Everything was happening too fast.

The doctors allowed us to see him before he went into surgery. I leaned over to him and whispered in his ear, “Mommy loves you so much, and you are going to do great. The doctors are going to take care of you, but remember God is always here. God is going to heal you and you are going to be back in Mommy’s arms real soon.” I kissed him over and over again. Then I watched him be wheeled away on the stretcher. Did I believe that God was going to heal my baby at that moment? Yes. Without question, without a doubt, I believed that God was going to heal my baby. However, it broke me down to my core that I could not hold my baby in my arms the same way I dropped him off at daycare that morning.

Soon after Myles came out of surgery, I was able to go into the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) to see him, which truly wasn't soon enough. I was told that a portion of his skull was temporarily left off to allow room for his brain to swell. He had a C-collar on his neck to stabilize his neck until they could run further tests to make sure everything was okay.

Further testing later showed that Myles had stretched ligaments in both his neck and back. They also found he had broken vessels in his eyes, and they weren’t certain that, if he lived, he would see again. He also had a stroke on the right side of the brain, which caused weakness on the left side of his body, and they weren’t certain that, if he lived, he would be able to walk again. The doctors said that he was a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome and had received Blunt Force Trauma which resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury. The daycare provider was arrested a couple of weeks later.

After having this experience, I am learning that the majority of people want to know how I feel about the daycare provider. I did not/do not want to think or talk about her. I wish I could get people to understand that if I thought about her, I would have to think about what actions took place in order for this type of injury to exist. As his mother, I did not want to have those thoughts. Myles was in an extremely critical situation, and I needed to focus my attention on him.

After his surgery, we were in the healing process. Doctors described it as the “waiting process”; we needed to wait and see if he was going to make it. I believed we were waiting on God to see Myles healed. I sat in expectation of full-restoration of my child. I kept my eyes on God. I had faith. The most difficult part of this journey was having enough strength to get through each day, because I was so emotionally drained.

We have to consider our thoughts when we are going through difficulties, from the smallest to the largest. Have you ever been around someone who constantly says negative things, hangs around negative people, and always has something negative going on in their life? Doesn’t it seem like every time you are around that person, they even make you feel negative? Our positive and negative thoughts draw positive and negative things to us. Proverbs 23:7a says, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (KJV). I needed healing to surround us during this time, so I maintained thoughts of healing. If I chose to dwell in an angry place about what may have happened to cause these injuries, I truly believe we would not have seen the same outcome.

There were moments of setbacks, but ultimately, Myles was healed. Myles’ vision is close to fully restored, and he is walking and talking as much as a 21-month-old should. They told us that there could be delays in the future, but I continue to believe that Myles is whole and will have no difficulties. Doctors and nurses have repeatedly told us that they did not expect Myles to make the recovery he did. They rejoice in seeing him doing so well, and some have even given God praise.

One of my greatest frustrations of this ordeal is the way it has changed our lives’. I had just received a promotion with my job, and it was the first job I had that made me look forward to getting out of bed. I was working hard in order to ensure a well-rounded future for Myles. Everything I did was for him. I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to give Myles my all, and I knew God would do the rest. Now, everything seems to be a struggle. So many crazy things have happened since Myles was discharged from the hospital, and I know that if I were working, these things would have been handled. However, I do not trust putting him back into daycare, so we have made the necessary cutbacks so I can be home with him. As I stood firm believing in Myles’ healing, I stand firmly in believing everything that has been lost will be fully restored.

In the end, I believe that God used this situation for His glory. People who were having difficulty in their faith walk have told me about how much Myles’ journey has inspired them, and brought them closer to God. Surrendering our lives’ to God does not mean we will have an easy path. There are times when we will want to question the reason we are going through some of the most devastating events of our lives’. However, if we allow our faith to remain strong, we will realize that many of the things we go through are for God’s purposes. We have to remove ourselves from the equation and believe that God has our best interest at heart. Consider what purpose God may be using you for at that moment. I knew that no matter the condition God brought my baby back to me, it would be God’s best. God brought my baby back to me, just as beautiful as he ever was, and being a busy little toddler.

Have faith that God has His best in store for you. Allow yourself to be used. 

Peace.

(If you would like to make a donation to the family, please go to: www.gofundme.com/helpmyles. Thank you in advance).

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at: faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.

It's Not My Fault

Remember that time when you met that guy who was absolutely WONDERFUL? I mean the best thing EVER! They took you to the nicest restaurants, sent a text in the morning just to say, “Good morning”, or even got along with your children. You just knew that they were THE ONE. Maybe he was someone’s husband, but you justified the relationship because he said he was leaving his wife. Or, you justified it because he promised you the moon and the stars, and made you feel better than any other man had. But then a few months down the road, maybe even a couple of years, that person became your worst nightmare. He never really left his wife, or you ended up going broke because he never had any money. You don’t remember? Maybe that was just me.

            Many times we interpret the Bible the way we need to in order to justify our behaviors. There are even times when we engage in behaviors that we know are sinful, and try to pray our way through, asking for forgiveness. If we are seeking God as Our Father, then we must understand that His commands are for our best interest. Now, I do believe that many of our scriptures, (because of the many times the Bible has been re-written), contain words that were more for the benefit of government and church leaders (which I intend to blog about later). However, if we approach the Word asking the Holy Spirit to show us God’s true intention behind the words, we can get a fuller understanding on how we can tap into the greatness of God.

            For example, 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” (NIV). This scripture is referring to fornication. We have heard over and over again that fornication is a sin yet many, if not most, of us has engaged in fornication. I didn’t fully understand why this was such a “no-no” to God. However, when I stood back and took a look at the world, I received much clarity.

            Imagine a world where people did not engage in sex unless they were married, and they only engaged in it with their spouse. Research has shown that, “adolescents ages 15-24 account for 20 million of the new STD cases every year.” (Adolescent Health, 2014). These numbers definitely reflect the consequence of having premarital sex, and sex out of wedlock. Many people, including myself, are raising children in a co-parenting situation, which is not always as productive as we would like. (I am aware of divorce, and that children could potentially still be raised in a co-parenting situation, but that’s a debate for another day.) And if most were honest, we could have a conversation with many who can vouch for the emotional anguish they suffered from having intercourse with someone they thought would love them forever.

            I am no judge. These are the things I have learned from my own experiences after I went before the Lord to gain understanding of my pain. God has every intention of seeing us happy, disease-free, and having everything we need. I believe that we sometimes make decisions that have consequences we do not want to deal with.

            In 2003, I spent two weeks in solitary confinement over a traffic violation. Yes, a traffic violation. I was driving down a road that I assumed had a median and I passed a school bus that had a stop sign. The driver in front of me went pass, so I did too. Of course, I was the one pulled over. I received my ticket and later went to court prepared to pay my fine. However, the judge said I had to be on probation because he wanted me to do 40 hours of community service.

            Close to the end of my probationary period, I injured my knee and was on crutches. My probation officer was located in a building that had very steep stairs and no elevator, so I asked if I could bring the $36 I owed her on an agreed date. She said that would be fine. Unfortunately for me, that officer quit and a new officer came in and put a warrant out for my arrest because I was late. The new officer, whom I still have never met, would not allow me to have a bond. I was arrested the night of court, and they would not have court again for two weeks. When I finally went before the judge, the prosecutor suggested that I do 30 days in jail, then looked over at me and said, “It will only be 17 more days”. Thankfully the judge released me that day.

            While my situation was filled with many unforeseen circumstances, and what I believe was an abuse of power, I still wish I had hobbled up to that probation officer's office and paid the $36. Titus 3:1 says, “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work” (ESV). I was in total disbelief this happened to me, yet I still held myself accountable to what I could have done to prevent this.

            In order to avoid some of the catastrophes that occur in our lives’, we have to do better at holding ourselves accountable. God so lovingly opens His arms, as did the father of the prodigal son, and holds us in His bosom to protect us from the pain of the world. However, there are times when we choose to go out into the world, party, break all of the rules, and return to Him broken. Thankfully, we serve a God who is forgiving and is able to mend what we thought could not be fixed. It is just our responsibility to make better decisions in the future.

Peace.

Sources:

 http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/stds.html#.VCXd8vRDttw

If you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or prayer requests, please feel free to email me at: faithfrfr2014@gmail.com.

You Wanna Get Naked?

Transparency, or being figuratively naked, is an important part of our faith walk. God already knows who we are. There’s no hiding from the eyes of God. However, how often are we honest with God about our desires? How often are we honest with ourselves? Standing strong, without wavering, is an important part of receiving the things we want the most out of life. But, how does one expect God to bless something you aren’t certain you would like to have?

For example:

·       Is it possible for one to pray to receive a promotion on their job, yet continuously complain about working there?

·       How productive can it be to tell yourself, and the people around you, that you don’t care about becoming a mother, when this is truly your heart’s desire?

·       How does one desire to complete a degree program without taking the necessary steps to enroll?

The NIV translation of Romans 4:18-22 says, “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”

            God wishes to grant us the desires of our heart, (Psalm 37:4). However, we when go before Him, clothed in self-righteousness, ego, fear, and pride, we cannot receive these things from Him. For many years I wanted to become a mother. When I was 18-years-old, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which would make getting pregnant extremely difficult. So, when people would ask when I would start having children I would tell them I wasn’t certain I wanted to have any, or, “I’m enjoying the baby-free life”. In truth, it crushed my heart every time I received a negative pregnancy test.

            The story of Peter wanting to walk on water changed my view about how I stood on the things I desired the most in my life. Peter asked Jesus to let him come out on the water with Him. Jesus replied, “Come.” Peter began to walk out onto the water, but when he saw the wind, he became afraid, and began to sink. Jesus caught his hand and said, “You of little faith. Why did you doubt?” (Paraphrased from Matthew 14:28-31 NIV). I realized that when we take our eyes off of our goal we begin to pay attention to the things around us that we deem are “scary”, and we begin to waver and sink.

            So I got naked. I disrobed myself of fear and doubt. I became honest with myself, God, and others. When people asked, “when are you going to have a baby?”, I would respond, “In God’s perfect time”, or, “If God wills, I will have one when it is time.” I no longer wanted to appear shaky and uncertain before the Lord. I began to pray God’s perfect Will for my life, and trusted that if it were meant for me to be a mother, it would happen. I gave birth to my baby boy, Myles Prince, in January 2013.

            The Bible says, “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead.” (James 2:26 NIV). It is very important that we take the necessary steps to see the manifestation of the desires of heart. The desires of our heart are usually things that we cannot see how they are going to happen, but we just believe are going to happen. These things require both our effort and our faith. Get naked. Rid yourself of the untruths you've been telling yourself and others. Stand in a mirror and tell yourself what you KNOW you want to see happen in your life. Then go before the Lord and tell Him. Take any steps necessary- put in the job application, start going to the gym, reach out to potential investors-and trust God to do the rest.

            Until you get naked you are not going to begin to see your Truth manifest. Do the work, stand firm, and have faith.

Peace.

Falling in Love with Love

Falling in Love with Love

 

I remember a time I was living with a friend, and I was sleeping on an air mattress on her living room floor. I so badly wanted to have my own place, but I had just been evicted from my previous one. I wish I could tell you, “At that moment, I picked up the Word of God, the Bible fell open and sitting right there was a scripture I needed to have faith, and I felt better”. Nope. Didn’t happen. (Don’t get me wrong, there were moments when that did happened, but that wasn’t how I found faith.)

At some point, I began to realize that the problems I had at that moment were not the ones I had last the previous year, so clearly the grace of God brought me through. But I still hadn’t considered that my poor decision making was what rendered me essentially homeless. 

You could look in the dictionary for the word, “self-sabotage”, and you would see my selfie. I was brilliant about taking matters into my own hands, supposedly fixing things, and ending up with a mess that was greater than what I started with! Then, I would whine and complain to God about the chaos, and even have the audacity to ask Him, “Where are You???”

            I reached a pinnacle point of failure in my life, and knew I could no longer go forward making decisions for myself. I wasn’t one of those people who could go 10 miles over the speed limit and not get pulled over for it. Every little thing I did, because “everyone else was doing it”, landed me in some kind of financial bind.

            I was a Christian. I knew that much. But I did not understand what it meant to follow Christ without feeling like I had to be “perfect”. I began to search for a church home, which allowed me to hear the Word of God. But I had tremendous difficulty incorporating those things when I got home. So, I picked up the Bible. What better way to learn how to become Christ-like than studying the Word? Maybe I would finally get some direction.

            Studying the Gospels, or the first four books of the New Testament, led the way. Reading Matthew, Mark, Luke and John gave me a clearer perceptive of who Jesus is- LOVE. I understood that Christ loves me just as I am. Once I gained this understanding, I was able to approach the rest of the Bible knowing what God’s ultimate goal was for me- to operate in love. This made everything make sense! When I love, I won’t steal, kill, commit adultery, or any other offenses described in the Word. I wouldn’t spend time judging the behaviors of others; instead, I would love them. In fact, I learned how to first love myself so that I could appropriately love the people around me.

 What an epiphany!

            (Sidebar: Please understand, sin still exists, which is the ultimate reason for Christ. Even in our best moments, we commit sin. Therefore, we repent and go forward, white as snow, doing our best).

            Falling in love with Christ, then falling in love with Sheronda, began to teach me to how to have faith. Instead of having faith in what I wanted to happen in my life, I began to have faith in God’s love. Having faith meant God loves me so much, there is no reason I can't trust Him with my life. I then understood concepts like, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you"; and, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He wants me to be happy. He wants me to have peace.

 I became conscious of the decisions I was making, and began to make the ones that would take me in a positive direction. I began to have faith that God was surrounding me, because I was seeking Him first in all things. Gaining love taught me not to settle for less from anyone, including myself. It was then I began to see my life turn around, and miracles and wonders began to unfold. (Many of these I will share in the coming days on this blog).

Until you do the work, this “finding love in the Bible in order to have faith” thing will sound a little out there. But once you begin to understand how much God loves you, you’ll know He wants the best for you, and you will be able to put all of your trust in Him.

I want to leave you with the Bible’s beautiful description of love from First Corinthians 13:4-8:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Peace.

Write the Vision, Make it Plain

           

                    Okay. Here I go being naked again, but this time in front of you, the reader. This is my vision board. I heard about a vision board many times, but I was encouraged to go ahead and do mine when I recently saw Oprah interviewing Steve Harvey. (To learn more about the interview, google. Lol!) The purpose of the vision board is to allow you to focus on your goals. Looking at your vision board daily should not only give you direction, but give you passion to see these things appear in your life. It answers questions like: “What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What would you like to have?” I believe that wherever we focus our energy is where we see things blossom, positively or negatively. A vision board gives us the ability to focus our energy on all those things we keep yapping about doing, and actually feeling driven to do it.

                    Here is a brief description of my vision board, left to right:

1.     TGH is the non-profit organization I started a few years ago.

2.     Iyanla Vanzant represents my desire to be a life coach.

3.     The woman running is my desire to become fit again.

4.     The family holding hands is my continuous desire for me and my family to always be under the covering of God.

5.     The stack of books is my desire to write a book or two someday.

6.     Tyler Perry represents my desire to rise above my circumstances, and to even attain his level of greatness.

7.     Oprah represents many things for me, but ultimately I admire her tenacious work ethic. I have seen many of shows where she describes the expectations and standards she sets for the people around her, because it is what she sets for herself.

8.     I aspire to always live in peace, represented by the silhouette of two fingers.

9.     The beach pic is a picture of Dubai. I am looking forward to travelling there someday.

10.  I desire to do public speaking, which is represented by the silhouette of the woman at the podium.

11.  I would love to have one more baby, so I chose the cutest pic I could find (Outside of my own son). :-)

12. Finally,  I want to own a home, and I adore bungalows, so here is a pic of a bungalow.

                  One day I was praying and I heard God say, “I did not create you for mediocrity, I created you for excellence”. During this particular time in my life, I was going to work late, not really giving my all when at work, not following through on things I started, etc. However, once I heard His voice, I stopped making excuses for all of my slack behaviors, and began to challenge myself to always give my all. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” I work as if God is my boss, and my reward comes directly from Him, only because I want to please Him.

                The things you see on my vision board aren’t things I think I am to achieve; they are things I am going to achieve. And if for some reason I don’t see one manifest, it’s because God had something even greater. I just have that "for real" kind of faith.

I challenge you to create a vision board for yourself, have faith it will happen, and watch how things come to pass.

Peace.

I'm Naked

Introduction

               My name is Sheronda Goodwine Barksdale. I could list a series of credentials and titles to convince someone that I have some type of authority, but I don’t believe it’s relevant. I am a woman who has gone through many trials in her life, and insisted I become stronger through it all. My goal in life is to always operate in love, and this blog is always sent to the reader in love. May peace find you coming, and may peace find you going. I hope I can inspire your faith.

I’m Naked

The Bible defines faith as, “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). “Wait, what? What’s that now? I don’t understand”. Well, at least that was my reaction the first time I read that.

            I was led to start a blog about faith. In my opinion, as Christians, we sometimes believe that in order to have a relationship with God, we must be "perfect". (Lord knows that if that were true, very few of us would EVER make an attempt to know who God is). I feel that this belief keeps us from having the necessary faith to get us through the most difficult times.

            I always knew I could never be a preacher or pastor. I suck at trying to pretend my life IS what it IS NOT, I offer too much information about my life, and I really don’t care about what most people think of me, so that profession was out. I questioned myself, and yes, God, how am I any authority to teach anyone, anything? It was shown to me that I have gone through some of the most extreme circumstances in life, and my faith in God is what brought me through.

Also, I stand naked before the Lord. Well, of course literally when it’s bath time and stuff, but spiritually. I am very honest with myself, and God, about who I am. I don’t try to act like He doesn’t see what I am doing. I am aware that there are consequences to the decisions I make, and I do my best to correct the things God wants me to change. However, I’m not perfect.

This is where this blog comes in. I am going to be very honest with you about my life. I've felt that many religious teachers portrayed this perfect life, that I felt was unattainable, and I would never be able to see the blessings of God because I sometimes say bad words, have bad thoughts, not a good stewart at times...well the list could go on. I AM NOT PERFECT. In this blog, I may use words that some may find offensive (like "suck"), I may say things that some don’t agree with, and I live as a spiritual being, not a religious fanatic. (Religious people don’t always like me, and I’m okay with that). But the miracles of God that I have witnessed in my life has confirmed for me that having the ability to recite scriptures, pray a certain way, and attend church every Sunday, is not SOLELY what opens the windows of heaven.

So, ultimately, my goal for this blog is to help those of us who aren’t so “perfect”, still witness the miracles and wonders of God. My hope and prayer is that those who read this blog, they are able to develop a relationship with God that will teach them how to have faith….frfr.